he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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