i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
