That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
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you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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