Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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