I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
