ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
