margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
