I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it because I queefed?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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