The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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