; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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