man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we're making bets on your personal life
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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