i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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