You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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