I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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