he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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