Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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