Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
