they need to just BURY HIM!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
