oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
