Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
