paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he shaved USA in his pubs
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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