i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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