I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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