Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
