Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
