Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
