Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
