Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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