This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize