Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
