i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
please come you make the beer taste better
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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