you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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