So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ugly people sure do ruin things
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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