I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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