I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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