It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
