Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
