i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
high people should be assigned attendants
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
