problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
