I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
