Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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