I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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