i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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