Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My vagina is very pro this idea
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
