i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
