I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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