i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
