I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
