im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
