Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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