i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
