I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
