I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
