Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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