I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
a search helicopter?!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
