Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
