That's intense
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
