He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
where are my eyebrows?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
