I must be too annoying 4 u.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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