I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
