she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
